Living the Word of God

The call came in at 5 a.m.; but I didn't get to the phone quick enough to answer it, so I called the number back, not knowing who would answer. The man who answered the phone said, “Trina?” It took me a second to realize who it was because I was still partly asleep and who answers their phone saying the callers name?

My friends were at the hospital in labor with their sixth blessing, who was coming a little quicker than anticipated and they needed someone to be with the first five blessings so they could welcome him together. Glad to be close enough to help, I went over and sat with the boys in the waiting room until their aunt could arrive. What a joyous occasion.

Before leaving I was able to visit with my friends a few moments and they asked if I could bring holy communion to them. I promised to return and as the little guy burst into the world very shortly after 7 a.m. I took holy communion to them before our 10 a.m. Mass. We read the Gospel for the day together and then I left to attend Mass.

As I was praying before Mass the Gospel I'd just read with my friends, The Good Samaritan, came to my mind and I was just filled with love for our Lord for allowing me to live that Gospel.

In his homily our priest talked about the Gospel and said the good samaritan was truly following Jesus' second greatest command, to love our neighbor as ourselves. Again, it just really struck me what a great blessing God had given me and I was so grateful that I cooperated with Him to be His hands, feet, eyes, etc.

God created us for good and when we strive to live Godly lives and cooperate with His plan for us, beautiful things happen.

Breaking The Rules

Recently 11 baseball players from various major league teams were placed on suspension for using an illegal substance (human growth hormone).  These men made a bad choice, they broke the rules of baseball. Everyone makes bad choices in their lives and sometimes those choices affect others.  

Does this scandal ruin baseball? Of course it doesn't, because baseball depends on teams, not individuals. An individual can break the rules in baseball, and though that choice can affect others, it doesn't ruin the whole.  People can still enjoy baseball.

The same can be said of Christianity. All Christians are held to the same"rules", which we refer to as the Word of God. But like those baseball players, sometimes Christians do not play by the rules....we bend the Word or twist it or change it completely so it conforms to what we want it to be instead of what Jesus intends it to be.

Christianity is also about teamwork.  Jesus referred to us as His brothers and sisters. As a team, we are supposed to work together and help one another - not to win the World Series or the Superbowl, but something much greater - to one day be together in heaven.

Yes, sometimes individual Christians break the rules (go against the Word of God), but it doesn't ruin the whole of Christianity anymore than a few individual baseball players breaking the rules ruins the game of baseball.  It's an awful thing to go against the Word of God, it injures us, those we wronged and certainly hurts God, but it doesn't ruin Christianity. For that I am eternally grateful.

Just something to think about.

Ready to go.....

People are always surprised to find out I'm not on a heart transplant list. I don't want a transplant.....for a few reasons. Please understand that these are my reasons, everyone has to come to this decision on their own.....no judgements allowed. My little sister had a heart transplant and I was extremely grateful she did, because that gave her an extra 5 years with us. But it's not for me.

First of all, I just really don't believe the organ donation system is always an honest one. It may have started off that way, but more and more often I hear of people who are “brain dead”, waking up. I don't want to live my life thinking the person whose heart I have, may have awakened at some point.

Another reason is because my body just doesn't handle medication very well. I am on quite a few meds now and most of them are baby doses. Having a transplant means even more meds....so I'd be trading one chronic condition for another. I'd be better in one sense, perhaps, but there are no guarantees.

I was diagnosed with heart failure....specifically a dilated cardiomyopathy with Class III-IV CHF....5 years ago this month. No one was more surprised than me and let me tell you, I was quite surprised. My ejection fraction at that time was 12%. I was told it should be about 65%. One doctor told me my heart function was not conducive to life. Not long after that another doctor told me that at some point, the rest of my body would stop compensating for my heart.

With meds the ejection fraction (EJ) went up to 30% and capped out, so they put in a defibrillator. I thank God too because about a year later I went into a-fib and my heart beat went over 200 bmp and that thing fired. Shocked! Literally! Wasn't as bad as I'd expected, I at least stayed upright, but I really don't look forward to the next time.

Mayo Clinic checked me out and while there my husband asked how long my heart would last. The doctor said it could be 5 years, could be 10 years. Or it could be 1 year.....could have done without that one....but we had already passed that mark. Now we are at year 5.

Not without some issues of course....they found a blood clot in my heart a few years ago and 2 1/2 years ago my EJ had dropped to 25–30% and then 10 months later it had dropped again to about 20–25%. It has been about 20 months since my last echo, but I don't foresee having another one. Aside from the monitoring of my defibrillator, there are no more appointments with the specialists. I simply see my own doctor for whatever comes up. All those doctor appointments are nerve-racking.

I look perfectly healthy to those around me, even if I am a little rounder than I should be. No one has any idea I am terminal unless I tell them. Heck, even my friends forget. I used to be able to forget, but it's getting more and more obvious to me that I am slowing down tremendously.

What's my point?

I'm okay with this. I have been since the beginning. Quite honestly, the only thing that upset me about this whole diagnosis was the bedside manner of the doctor and how flippant his attitude was about my diagnosis and prognosis. It was honestly like the man was telling me I had a boil and needed it lanced....what's the big deal?

I want my family and friends to accept this too. I will be around until our heavenly Father calls me home. I am ready when He is. I have a beautiful relationship with our Lord. I will be eternally grateful for the beautiful graces He has bestowed upon me during the years, especially the last 5 years.

Aside from my beautiful faith and those wonderful things that go along with it, humor and laughter have helped me through. I love to laugh and to make others laugh.

My life has been quite a ride and even though I wasn't always smart enough to keep the seat belt on or my hands inside the car at all times, I've made it through, mostly unscathed.

There are no bags to pack, no jet plane to catch....just me, ready to go.....just as soon as I use up the last oomph my heart has. I want every last ounce of love squeezed out of my heart so when I get to heaven, I can tell God I gave it my all! :o)