Good news must be shared...

A friend of mine is reading a book and she said they are comparing the woman at the well to Martha and Mary (sisters of Lazarus).  As she was saying she'd like me to do a talk on this subject I was thinking it was strange to compare those three women.  For me, I was leaning toward comparing the woman at the well to our Blessed Mother.

It may not make sense to compare the Blessed Mother to the woman at the well either, given they come from two completely different backgrounds, but it's not their backgrounds I want to compare, but what they did after they encountered our Lord.

Our Blessed Mother is of course without sin and we know this because St. Luke tells us in his gospel that she is "full of grace" and you cannot be full of grace and have sin in you.  The Samaritan woman; however, is a sinful woman.  Two completely different backgrounds, but their futures (once they encounter Christ) are full of similarities.

Mary's encounter with Jesus starts with the appearance of the Archangel Gabriel.  He appears and tells her she has found favor with God and that she will become the Mother of His son.  She consents and the Holy Spirit descends upon her and she becomes pregnant (I'm paraphrasing of course, the full story can be found in the gospel of Luke).  Once she is with child, she immediately leaves for the hill country to visit her cousin, Elizabeth, who is with child as well.  When she arrives, the child within the womb of Elizabeth "leaps with joy".  Mary spends three months with Elizabeth, helping her prepare for the arrival of John the Baptist. 

The Samaritan woman has also found favor with Jesus (and we have too, He loves each and every one of us).  She, like us, cannot accept Christ as easily as Mother Mary did though.  When she encounters Jesus, she argues with Him (have you ever done that?) and wonders out loud how He can do all He promises to do for her (again, I'm paraphrasing, see John 4:7-42 for the "rest of the story").  She is confused about this encounter with Jesus but when Jesus tells her what her sins are, she completely understands He is who He says He is.  He has shed light on her sins and the darkness is banished.  She leaves Jesus and heads into town and tells everyone about Jesus.  Many Samaritans came to know Christ because of this woman.

Two women, two completely different backgrounds, but both bring others to Jesus immediately after they receive Him.  They don't keep Him to themselves, they take the light He has given them to others, to share Him (evangelization).  Christ is too great to be contained within us and if we truly have Christ within us, we will not be able to contain ourselves.  He will come forth from us, just as He did with Mary and the Samaritan woman.

Mary will live many, many years with Jesus and after His crucifixtion, she lives her days with John, the beloved disciple, praying and continuing to lead others to her Son.

The Samaritan woman, scripture tells us, was responsible for bringing many to Christ through her acceptance of Him.  We can imagine she lived at least a few more years and continued to love Jesus and bring others to Him. 

As I was writing this, I thought of another who received our Lord and immediately evangelized.  He failed to convert anyone as far as we know, but he was able to save his own soul.  Remember the good thief?  He came to know Christ while he was hanging on this own cross next to Jesus and he rebuked the other thief for mocking Jesus and then he confessed his own guilt.  He asked our Lord to remember him when He came into His kingdom (Luke 23:32-43) and what did Jesus say?  He assured him he would be with Him that day in paradise.  The "good thief" saw the light of Christ, the truth, evangelized to another, confessed his own sins and was able to gain heaven.  Some say that was his last act of "theft", to be able to "steal" heaven at the last moments of his life.  Gotta love divine mercy!

I still need to read my friend's book to see how the woman at the well compares to Martha and Mary, but for now, I'm happy comparing myself to her and learning not just from her example, but that of our most Blessed Mother and the good thief.

Loving God and Neighbor

“May it be done to me according to Your word.” Luke 1:38

“His mother said to the servers, “Do whatever He tells you.” John 2:5

            The greatest commandment, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27) tells us how we can make our way to heaven.  Love accomplishes and overcomes all things.

            In the first Joyful mystery of the rosary, the Annunciation, we meditate on the words of Mother Mary, “May it be done to me according to Your word.”  She is teaching us love, obedience and humility.  Because she loved God, she was able to be obedient and humble and we were able to have a savior who would redeem us.  I love meditating on this verse and in fact, making it my prayer.  I also want to be the handmaid of the Lord, though I fall so far short of what our Blessed Mother did.  She, who was full of grace, did not have sin in her.  I find myself repeatedly going to the confessional to beg mercy of our Lord and ask Him to lift me up again and again.

            Immediately upon finding out her cousin, Elizabeth, is also with child, she journeys to visit.  She spent 3 months with Elizabeth, helping her to prepare for the coming of John the Baptist.  Love of neighbor. 

            This isn’t the only time Mary shows us how to love our neighbor.  In the second Luminous mystery of the rosary, “The Wedding at Cana”, Mary tells Jesus there is no more wine.  She then very simply turns to the servants and tells them to do whatever He tells them to do.  She knows running out of wine at a wedding can be very embarrassing to the hosts and she wants to avoid that, so she simply turns to her Son.  Her command to the servants is also a command to us.  We should, at all times, do whatever He tells us. 

            My spiritual director once told me that the only correct answer when God asks something of us is Yes!  If we’ve even heard Him talking to us, that is not usually our first response.  We tend to think of ourselves and how what He wants is going to interfere with what we want for our lives, as if we know best.

           At times I can be impressed with myself for listening to what God tells me to do, being obedient to His holy will for me.  Unfortunately, the pride of sin is no help to my salvation.  It also dawns on me that it is not the things I’ve done for God I’ll have to answer for, but the things I did not do (in the Confiteor we pray, “…in what I have done and in what I have failed to do…”).

            Each night before bed I pray, “The Prayer for Daily Neglects” (I won’t put the whole prayer here, it’s on page 16 of The Pieta Prayer Book) and in essence, I am asking God to expiate all the sins I have committed each day and during all my life, to purify the good I have done badly each day and to supply for the good I ought to have done, but neglected to do.  Unlike Mary, I am not full of grace. 

            “Be it done unto me according to thy word.” That is my prayer, my daily prayer.  What I also pray for is holy hearing so I know what God is asking of me.  Then I pray for obedience and humility and an increase in faith, hope and charity.  No wonder we are told to pray without ceasing.

           “Do whatever He tells you.”  Definitely easier said than done, but not impossible!  What does He tell us?  Love God with all your hearts, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.

            Today, we celebrate the feast of St. Francis Xavier.  He certainly taught us love of Christ and love of neighbor.  So did Blessed Mother Teresa, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, St. John Vianney and in fact, all the saints.  With the help of all these beautiful saints and our Blessed Mother, we can learn to love God and love neighbor, just as Jesus taught us.

Black Friday

This week is the last week in Ordinary Time and next week, Advent begins.  What a beautiful time of year it is!  Today we celebrate the Feast of Christ the King, a feast instituted in 1925 by Pope Pius XI to honor Christ’s Kingship.    He was trying to combat secularism which was overtaking us, even a century ago.

This Thursday of course we celebrate Thanksgiving.  A time to reflect on all the gifts we have received from our Lord, our lives, our families, homes, cars, jobs, etc.  It is also a time to pray in thanksgiving for all those wonderful graces and blessings we have received.

So in the midst of this celebration of Christ the King, Thanksgiving and in anticipation of the Advent season, we have what has commonly been called Black Friday.  What is Black Friday?  Some say it is the largest shopping day of the year (and has been since 2003), some say it is the day most retailers get out of the “red” and into the “black” on their ledgers, I say it’s a shame.

This is a day which seems to be solely dedicated to obtaining “stuff.”  I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t need anymore “stuff.”  In fact, I’ve been slowly getting rid of “stuff” and certainly not with the intent to replace it, but to just simplify.  To rid my life of things I no longer need, use or desire.  I’ve discovered that there is no tangible thing on earth I can take with me when I die and that most of the things I do have, really aren’t of value to anyone except me.  Except my books maybe, I do like my books! Hey, no one’s perfect!

Black Friday has gotten so out of hand that it has actually started on Thursday for some retailers.  Thanksgiving!  We can’t even be thankful for one whole day without rushing out to obtain more stuff!  What could you possibly need so badly that you must go out for it on Thanksgiving, when you should be spending time with family and friends?

Aside from obtaining more “stuff” I can’t figure out what is appealing about Black Friday.  Keep in mind, I don’t like to shop even on a good day, but this day seems to be crazy.  People are cranky because they’ve gotten up before the crack of dawn to get to the stores, they are bound and determined to obtain the item for which they cannot live without, no matter the consequences in some cases and many people have been injured.  There has even been a death contributed to Black Friday, when a store employee was unlocking the doors he was trampled. 

So we celebrate the beautiful Feast of Christ the King and then a mere 5 days later we forget our Lord in order to pursue things of this world.  Things that will mean nothing to anyone in 100 years or even 50 or 10 or 5 or maybe not even in 1 year.

I’m not saying you cannot buy Christmas gifts and enjoy the beautiful season leading up to the birth of our King; but let us remember the spirit in which these gifts should be given, received and enjoyed.  Let us also remember those who are less fortunate.

Matthew 25:31-46 says, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.”

As we celebrate the Advent season, visiting family and friends, buying gifts and other items and preparing for the arrival of Christ the King let us remember what St. Matthew teaches us. 

“For I was hungry and you gave me food.” 

Donate to a food pantry;

Serve a meal at the mission;
Purchase scrip and leave it at the rectory so the priests can donate as the need arises;
Help someone in line at the grocery store who needs extra help making their purchases;
Say a prayer for someone, or better yet, with someone because they need spiritual food too.

“I was thirsty and you gave me to drink.”

Each day show your love of others in new ways by giving your children and spouse a blessing when they wake up and before bed;
Give more hugs, not just to your family, but to your friends and even strangers, if you are so moved.

“A stranger and you welcomed me.”
Smile at people and look them in the eye.  Say “hello” to them or “Merry Christmas” or “God bless you.”
Shake hands with people.

“Naked and you clothed me.”

Take your children’s old coats, hats, gloves, etc. to a local elementary school for children who are without.

Go through your closet and get rid of those things you are not wearing.  Donate them to St. Vincent de Paul or Goodwill.  If you haven’t worn something in a year, you probably never will.

“Ill and you cared for me.”

Do you have neighbors who might need your help? 

Everyone knows someone with cancer or some other debilitating illness, help them.  Take a meal, help them vacuum and dust.

Take a bowl of soup or a handmade card.

“In prison and you visited me.”

Go to a nursing home and talk to the residents.  They hunger and thirst for attention.  Say a prayer with them, let them visit with your children.  Let the children make small crafts and pass them out.

Find out who the homebound members of your parish are and see if you can visit.

Visit Jesus, who waits for you in the tabernacle day and night.

Use your imagination.  When Christmas day arrives, Jesus’ birthday, what gifts (spiritual and corporal works of mercy) are you going to offer Him?  May the Holy Spirit guide you in all you do.

Remember, to whom much is given, much will be expected.

Avoiding Purgatory

The word purgatory is not found in sacred scripture, so how can we be certain it exists?  Well, because the doctrine is found in scripture.  Jesus refers to the sinner who “will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come” (Matt 12:32) which suggests that one can be freed after death of the consequences of their sins.  In 1 Cor 3:15 St. Paul tells us, “He will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.”  If this is true, and we must believe scripture is, then the loss suffered would not be hell because you cannot be saved from there and it cannot be heaven because there is no suffering, or fires, in heaven.

2 Maccabees 12:43-45 says, "In doing this he acted in a very excellent and noble way, inasmuch as he had the resurrection of the dead in view; for if he were not expecting the dead to rise again, it would have been useless and foolish to pray for them in death. But if he did this with a view to the splendid reward that awaits those who had gone to rest in godliness, it was a holy and pious thought. Thus he made atonement for the dead that they might be freed from this sin.”

Purgatory is also part of the Jewish tradition, even if that is not the word they use for it.  Orthodox Jews today recite a prayer known as the Mourner’s Kaddish for 11 months after the death of a loved one so that the loved one may be purified.

St. Augustine said that, “temporary punishments are suffered by some in this life only, by others after death and by others both now and then; but all of them before the last and strictest judgment.” And his mother, St. Monica, asked her son to remember her soul in his Masses. This would make no sense if she thought her soul would not benefit from his prayers.

So the question is, can you avoid purgatory? Yes.  According to Fr. Paul O’Sullivan in his booklet, “How to Avoid Purgatory”, he says that many make no serious effort to avoid purgatory and that a great number of souls go to purgatory simply because they’ve never been told how to avoid it.  Avoiding it is the best course of action; but certainly not the easiest.

The reason why purgatory is necessary for some is that we have committed sins and have not yet made satisfaction for them.  If our souls are stained with sin, we must be purified before we can behold the beatific vision.  Purgatory is our purification and it is by no means a picnic, but it is a promise of heaven, even if one must continue to wait to attain it.  In purgatory there is hope of heaven, but just because there is hope in purgatory does not mean we should desire it.  We should, at all times, desire and strive for heaven and ask our Heavenly Father for just that.  We should desire to make reparation for our sins while we are still on earth so as to avoid purgatory altogether.

It is interesting to me that so many assume they must spend time in purgatory and yet, when a loved one dies, they assume they’ve gone straight to heaven.  While this is a very charitable thought, it lends itself entirely to a lack of charity because then we do not pray for their poor souls.  It does no harm to assume they’ve gone to purgatory and to pray for them, because in the glorious event they’ve gone to heaven (whether or not they passed through purgatory), God will apply the prayers to someone else in need.  There is no such thing as a wasted prayer.

Never let anyone convince you that you are being presumptuous in asserting that you can go straight to heaven.  Unless of course you assume heaven will be given to you without any effort on your part.  We can avoid purgatory, yes, but it requires much effort, by way of prayer, fasting, almsgiving and penance and without a doubt, suffering.  We must strive to live holy lives or avoiding purgatory will, in fact, become unavoidable.

There are many means in which this can happen, again, by avoiding sin completely, but surely by frequent and good confessions, by doing reparation for sin while on earth (remember, you cannot gain merit once you’ve died), Jesus made a promise for Divine Mercy Sunday, under certain obligations of course, to wipe out any temporal punishment due to sin and there is always the Apostolic Pardon.  You can also ask St. Joseph to intercede on your behalf for a holy, happy death.

My good friend St. Therese of Lisieux had a great teaching on purgatory and how to avoid it.  She said you, “should not fear purgatory because of the suffering there, but should instead ask that you not deserve to go there in order to please God.”  She even said it offends God if we don’t trust enough that we can get to heaven after dying.

A sister in the convent did not like St. Therese teaching that purgatory could be avoided and confronted her.  She would not listen to St. Therese at all and St. Therese finally responded, “My sister, if you look for the justice of God, you will get it.  The soul will receive from God exactly what she desires.”  About a year after that conversation the sister died and St. Therese dreamed of her and heard, “You were right, I am now delivered up to the full justice of God, but it is my fault, if I had listened to you, I would not be here now.”

God desires us to be in heaven with Him.  As St. Therese says, “He does not put us here on earth, where we are tested and are suffering after the fall, only to let us suffer again – and much worse, in purgatory.  Everyone receives enough graces in order to go straight to God after passing the trials on earth.  However, purgatory is an emergency entry to heaven for those who have wasted their time on earth.  What God considered the exception, became the rule and the rule – to go straight to heaven – became the exception.”

Mystics throughout history say that the least suffering in purgatory is much greater than the greatest suffering on earth.  Why?  Because on earth we receive God’s infinite mercy but in purgatory, we are receiving His justice.  God cannot desire useless sufferings for us. 

At the moment of our death, we already have our place in heaven.  There is no growing in grace once we’ve died, so we miss nothing by avoiding purgatory.

St. John says in 1 John 4:17-18 “In this is love perfected with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as He is so are we in this world.  There is no fear in love, but perfect loves casts out fear.  For fear has to do with punishment and he who fears is not perfected in love.

Trusting in God is enough.  He can do ALL things.  Even after a “messed up” life, God can still take one straight to Heaven if the dying person only has trust.  Remember St. Ditmas, the good thief crucified next to Jesus on Calvary, he went straight to heaven!

Here is a quick list on some ways to avoid purgatory…..

1.      Ask God if you can go straight to heaven.  Pray this every day of your life.
2.      Ask the saints to intercede on your behalf and assist you in avoiding purgatory;
3.      Remove the cause for going to purgatory, which is sin;
4.      Do penance.  When our Lady appears to us she continually asks for reparation for sins.
5.      Bear patiently what cannot be avoided; namely, suffering – whether physical, emotional, spiritual or mentally.  These sorrows, as Fr. Paul O’Sulllivan says, “are in truth, God’s greatest graces.”
6.      Confession, communion and Holy Mass.  Confession applies the Most Precious Blood of Christ to our souls, wipes out our sins and gives us strength to avoid future sin.  Holy communion likewise helps us to sin no more and pardons the sins we have committed.  (although this would be venial sins, because one should not receive our Lord in the state of mortal sin). Assisting at daily Mass applies oceans of graces obtained by the sacrifice of Calvary to our own souls, each and every time we go.  Jesus visited Zaccheus but once and in that one visit he obtained complete pardon of all his sins.  So how is it possible that the same God of goodness and sweetness can come, not into our house, but into our very hearts in Holy Communion and not give us the same and even greater graces that Zaccheus received?
7.      Another way to avoid purgatory is to forgive all those who have injured or offended you.   Just as we forgive others, God will forgive us.
8.      Perfectly resign yourself by offering your death to God.
9.      Indulgences, partial or plenary, are remissions before God of the temporal punishment due to sins whose guilt has already been forgiven (CCC 1471).
10.  Divine Mercy Sunday, as I mentioned earlier, is another way to avoid purgatory.  As with indulgences, there are stipulations, such as confession and receiving Holy Communion. 

We must remember that heaven is not going to be handed to us, we must strive to live holy lives at all times.  We must have the desire to avoid purgatory and be willing to undergo the trials and sufferings that will surely come our way.

Examination

In early October my spiritual director advised me to do an examination of conscience every day, preferably in the evening.  I've heard many times over the years I should be doing one, it's just not something I've done on a regular basis.  I didn't do it regularly after he told me to do it either, because I would forget, or think about it and put it off and then forget.  Or I'd be too tired. Or I didn't feel like doing it.  On those days when I did manage to do an examination, I'd forget what I'd come up with by the time I went to confession, so it was losing some of its point.

I decided the best way to go would be to write down my examination.  Then, I would have those things (SINS!) on paper and I could take them into the confessional with me so I wouldn't forget anything. Taking a pad and pencil in the confessional is a good thing to do, especially for me, because then I can write down my penance, and anything else the priest (Jesus) may say to me while I'm in there.  Once I've confessed those sins, there is a certain amount of pleasure in ripping those pages out of the notebook and tearing them into little pieces before throwing them away.  Don't keep them, God has already forgiven those sins and forgotten them....so no need for us to dwell on them.

I have been diligent about doing the examination since I got a notebook, but truly only because my spiritual director told me to do it (obedience).  True, it was helpful in the confessional, but it's kind of "another thing to do in my day."  I don't need anything else to do in my day.

I did notice though, rather quickly, that when you write your sins down in a notebook, and you open that notebook daily to write down more stuff (SINS!), you want to confess them more frequently (really, who wants to take a "book" into the confessional with them?).  I have been in the habit of going to confession at least once a month for quite some time now, but I was moved to go a little more frequently so I could rip those pages out and tear them up (confess my SINS!).

Another benefit to writing down my daily examination of conscience occurred to me last Thursday when I again went to confession.  It had only been a week since my last confession and as I was looking at the things I'd written down, I realized that had I not written them down, I would have forgotten them!  Things that needed to be confessed would have been left UNconfessed because I would not have remembered them otherwise. YIKES!

Doing an examination not only helps us to confess all our sins, it helps us to get to know ourselves.  It's not about just knowing what we've done wrong, but knowing what we've done right and what we could have done better.  Maybe even to start recognizing those things we should have done but didn't.

Before doing an examination of conscience be sure to put yourself in the presence of God.  I like to ask the Holy Spirit to help me, in essence, asking God what He wants me to confess.  What I usually do is just quiet myself and pray:

"O come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Your well beloved spouse."

My Priest Knows Me

I love the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Sometimes at my parish it’s called the Sacrament of Mercy and I think that actually draws me even more to the confessional.  Why would you not want mercy?  That’s just crazy!  I was once visiting a parish out of town and was doing the Stations of the Cross and as I walked past the confessional I noticed a sign on the door that said, “Love Shack”.  Quite frankly I was a little disturbed by that name, but really, what could be truer?  I know we see the priest walk into the confessional, but it’s Jesus who hears our confessions, forgives us, and absolves us of our sins.  The priest is just the instrument through which Jesus works.

I didn’t make my first confession until I was 33 years old and I had a lot to cover.  I was very nervous that first time and it didn’t help I was at a communal penance service.  It always seems as though everyone can hear you, and so I was in no rush to go.  I looked around at all the priests who were available and all I could think about was getting the one young priest “on the panel” because I did not want any of the old guys hearing my confession.

That experience forever changed my life.  That’s the point of confession, to be changed.  To turn from your sin and run to a life in Jesus.  Not to say it’s easy, because it isn’t, but when have good things ever just fallen from the sky?  We have to work at them.  As much as I’ve come to love the sacrament of reconciliation, I know I have a lot more to learn about the mercy we are being offered.

The confessional has become a refuge for me.  The priest is welcoming and his attention is focused on healing the heart and soul.  Although I prefer to make confessions to my parish priest, others prefer the anonymity of confessing to a priest from a different parish.  I personally like the feeling of accountability I get when confessing to someone I see on a regular basis.  I know the priest does not remember individual confessions, but I leave the confessional with the sense of duty not to sin again, especially when I know I’ll be seeing that priest again very soon.

I have to admit, there are times when I want to go somewhere else for confession because I don’t want to confess to my parish priest, but humility is part of confession.  Turning away from our pride and admitting what we’ve done wrong.  Remember, Jesus already knows what you’ve done wrong, better than you do, but He wants you to be humble, just as He is humble.

I go to my parish priest for confession because he is my spiritual father.  It is the “duty” of every priest to make sure you get to heaven and so you can go to any priest and he will hear your confession and help you.  But there is a bond between you and your spiritual father that is not present with another priest.  Spiritual matters should not be taken lightly.  If your goal is to get to heaven, you have to be serious about doing what it takes to get there.

I’m not saying you can’t go to another confessor; because certainly there are times when it’s appropriate.  If you are out of town, on a retreat, you can’t make it during the scheduled confession times.  If you are in need of reconciliation, go wherever you can to find Jesus in that sacrament.

Just as you are the best one to take care of your children when they are in need, so your priest is the best one to take care of “his” children….you and me!

We're in this Together

Christianity is not an individualized belief; rather, we belong to each other in the body of Christ. 

We need others in our lives and Jesus showed us that time and again, especially during the last 3 years of His life.  He almost always had His disciples with Him and more often than not, He was surrounded by crowds of people. 

People crowded around Jesus because He cured the blind and lame, healed lepers, and raised up the dead.  He called sinners to leave their own lives behind and live a new life in Him.  They yearned to be taught by Him and as a result, their lives were changed in ways they never could have imagined on their own.

Jesus wasn't just surrounded by those who wanted and needed Him, He was also surrounded by His disciples; whom He called to be with Him.  Jesus and His disciples traveled together, ate together, and spent time in public ministry together.

To those who say they don't need to go to church to be with God I say this, when your island floods, who's going to pull you out of the water? Community is essential to our very survival. Ask anyone who has ever spent Thanksgiving or Christmas alone what it would have meant to them to have even just one person to share the holiday with.

The old saying, "there is strength in numbers" shows just how important community truly is.  On our own, we can be very weak but we are strengthened when another joins us and the strength grows exponentially as more and more people come together.  The body of Christ is a community of believers bound together in faith, hope and love.

Do you know anyone who lives on their own and keeps to themselves?  Are they self-centered?  How are their communication skills?  Can they share ideas with another person or do they insist their own ideas and thoughts are correct?  Are they set in their ways?

We are made for one another and together we make up the body of Christ.  When we separate ourselves from the body of Christ, not only do we lose something, the body of Christ loses something.  Every individual part of the body is essential to the whole body because we are bound together.

Graced Friendships

A group of us were sitting around chatting one evening and a priest friend there with us mentioned the phrase "graced friendship" and it really struck me.  Immediately several names came to mind and I silently thanked God for each of those friends.  I know what a graced friendship is and I know it's a great blessing!

Graced friendships.  I like that.  I didn't have to ask him what he meant by those two words, but I couldn't wait to hear him explain it either.  He said a graced friendship is a friendship in which you can share the faith with one another.  You pray together, learn together and lead each other into a closer relationship with Christ.

YES!

A couple of days later while at Mass a friend, who I most certainly have a graced friendship with, kneeled at the communion rail in front of me and I thought, "A graced friendship is someone God puts into your life - He gives you to each other and because He has ordained it, it's a gift.  These frienships in my life that are graced are great blessings to me.  I honestly don't know what I would do without them.

So as I have continued thinking about those people I am in graced friendships with, I was thanking our Father for them.  I know He put them into my life (probably so I'd bug them instead of Him!  It's okay, if they do penances on earth it'll shorten thier purgatory time!).

But it isn't just those few on earth.  My greatest graced friendship is with Jesus Himself.  He is most certainly my best friend.  He calls me to holiness and challenges me.  I can tell Him anything and indeed I do tell Him everything.  There isn't anything He doesn't know about me.

Whenever I can I sit before our Eucharistic Lord and just looking at Him makes me smile - He IS truly present and that fact is awe inspiring to me.  Those I am in graced frienships with also bring a smile to my face.  The other day I was pulling out of the grocery store as a friend was pulling in and we waved to one another and I thought how just seeing him brought a smile to my face. 

God also gives us graced friendships with the saints.  Think about it - who is your confirmation saint? What saint are you named after? They are there to assist, as are all the saints.  They have been here on earth, they know what life is all about.  They share our joys and sorrows and want to help us make it to heaven.  That's what graced friendship does, calls you to heaven.  Calls you to a deeper faith and love of Jesus.

Yesterday I was paid a very great compliment when someone requested 20 copies of one of my books.  I was greatly honored and humbled and I shared that news with a graced friend and she was genuinely happy for me and shared in my excitement - which is just another attribute of a graced friendship.

Emergency Help

Due to chronic heart failure, I have been to the emergency room more times than I care to count over the past few years.  When I was first diagnosed I was given ridiculous amounts of information, including when I should visit the emergency room.  I was told to go to the emergency room if I had one or more of the following symptoms:

1. Weight gain of 3lbs in 1 day or 5lbs or more in a week;
2. More swelling of feet, ankles, legs or stomach;
3. More shortness of breath;
4. Feeling more tired - no energy;
5. Dry, hacking cough
6. Harder to breathe when lying down;
7. Chest pain

The routine at the ER was always the same; they rush me to a room, do an EKG, a chest x-ray, lab work, put an IV in (just in case I was admitted), give me oxygen and turn the lights down so I can rest while they figured out what's going on.  All this before the doctor sees me.  When the doctor comes in the question is always the same, "Why are you here?"  I describe my chest pain, explain I'm having more shortness of breath, have no energy, and more swelling.  The doctor listens, tells me the EKG is fine, the chest x-ray is fine, the labs are fine.  Usually by this time the shortness of breath has subsided, as well as the chest pain. The couple hours of rest usually means I'm not as tired either.  The doctor explains that these symptoms are normal for people with my condition.  Despite that, they typically insist on admitting me, which I will only agree to if my personal doctor thinks I should be admitted.  He  never does....what's the point when all the tests or "fine"? 

At this point, there is an awkward silence until the doctor asks what I would like them to do for me.  My typical resonse is, if everything is "fine" I'll just go home.  Many friends have accompanied me to the ER and they have different opinions on this "discharge" thing.  Some think I should be admitted, at least overnight, for observation.  Others fear something will happen if I go home.  Some have the same opinion I do.

So, the discharge papers are prepared, I'm discharged and someone takes me home.  It still makes me chuckle everytime I read the discharge papers because they are always the same.  They tell me that if I have any signs of worsening heart failure (see list above), I should go to the ER immediately.

These useless trips to the ER annoy me to no end.  They are time consuming, irritating, expensive and ultimately, a waste of time.  After one visit to the ER I went home and checked my e-mail and was suprised to see e-mails from 5 or 6 friends who said they'd been praying for me and hoped I was doing better.  It took me a few minutes to realize how they even knew I'd been to the ER (I certainly don't twitter).  I'd been at Mass that evening and was not feeling well during most of it and the chest pain became almost unbearable.  A friend drove me over to the ER but other friends who had been at Mass decided they would call upon our Lord. 

They sent e-mails out and thus started a chain of prayers. This would happen frequently because I tended, for some reason, to end up at the ER after Mass.  My priest would often pray over me before I left or he would come to the ER.

Our human eyes make it very difficult for us to see the power of prayer at work in our lives but I firmly believe the reason why they rarely find anything out of the ordinary at the ER is because prayer was started before I arrived and continued for some time after.  All those people (and I didn't know everyone those e-mails were forwarded to) praying for me touched the heart of our Lord and He was moved to answer them.

I still have chest pain and shortness of breath frequently, but I avoid the ER like the plague.  The doctors and nurses, lab technicians, x-ray technicians, respiratory technicians are all great, but ultimately, they do very little to help me feel better (kudos to all those who remember to bring a heated blanket though....those always make ya feel better!).

Our Divine Physician, who is on call 24/7 and always answers, has never failed me.  I truly believe He heals me before I even get to the ER and that's why there is hardly ever anything "wrong". 

We must certainly use human prudence in every situation, especially in an emergency, but remember to call on our Lord and Savior immediately.  He heals, sometimes directly and other times, indirectly through the doctors and nurses.

What's Obedience?

Obedience is a word you don’t hear very often anymore.  Why is that do you think?  Well, obedience is viewed as a lack of choice; we have to do something someone told us to do.  We lack a choice when we are told to do something and are expected to obey.   In our culture, we like nothing more than to have our own choices.

I was helping my friend put her kids in the van one day and she told her 5 year old daughter to get in and buckle up.  Her daughter continued to wander around the outside of the van.  My friend asked her, “did you hear me?”  I chuckled and said, “I’m sure she heard you, she just didn’t obey.”  My friend looked at me and said I had a good point; she’d never thought of it that way before. 

Ever get stopped by the police?  They don’t want you to just hear them talking, they want you to obey them.  If they ask for your license, you have to give it to them.  If they tell you to get out of the car, you have to get out of the car.  In other words, you must be obedient to that officer.

We do not like to be obedient.  We don’t want to think that we are “submitting” to someone else, because that would make us weak.  No one is better than us, why should we do what they tell us?  

Our society is turning further and further away from God.  Things that 40 years ago were only whispered about are now topics of popular, prime time television shows, subjects to be taught to young school aged children and topics discussed openly in public no matter who can overhear.   God is becoming a taboo subject.  In fact, more and more, Christians, and especially devout Catholics, are being labeled bigots and intolerant.  

We don’t like obedience, unless we are being obedient to ourselves.   We certainly don’t want to be obedient to a God who tells us what we can and cannot do because that means we’ll never have any fun.  We need to remember that in order to obey God, we must disobey ourselves.  What?!?  Not do whatever I want whenever I want to do it?  

God tells us in the bible how we should live our lives and He does that so we can live for eternity in heaven with Him.  He created each one of us, individually.  He loves each and every one of us, He values us.  We all have our faults, we all sin, we all make bad choices, but God doesn’t strike us down.  He gave us free will so we could choose how to live.  That also means we can choose Him or reject Him.  There will always be plenty of both kinds of people, those that choose to follow Him and be obedient (although not perfectly) and those who choose to deny Him: disobey Him.

The Christian life is not easy by any means.  We must make sacrifices; not the least of which is trying to follow God’s will, not our own.  In other words, obeying God and disobeying ourselves.  I know that’s a foreign idea to many and seems utterly ridiculous, but God alone leads us to true life.  Being obedient to God and following His holy will for us is true freedom.  

Each day, turn your will over to our Lord.  Ask Him to help you follow Him, to strengthen you.  Ask Him to grant you the grace to desire obedience, not to yourself, but to Him.  

“The natural life knows that if the spiritual life gets hold of it, all its self-centeredness and self-will are going to be killed and it is ready to fight tooth and nail to avoid that.”   C.S. Lewis

Suggestions

A friend, who told me I shouldn't post a reflection everyday on my blog, has pointed out to me that I haven't posted anything in over a week.  Make up your mind already! :-)  haha   If you must know why it's because spiritually, I had kind of a tough week last week - things are better now. 

Sometimes things strike me, something in a homily, something someone has said to me or something I've seen.  I usually meditate (almost said medicate - there's a big difference you know!) and see where the Holy Spirit takes me with those things.  I love listening to what our Lord says, even when the message isn't necessarily for me.

Is there any topic you'd like to see here?  Something you "heard" God talk to you about that you would like expanded on?  I certainly can't guarantee the Holy Spirit will speak to me on that subject, but our God works in mysterious ways - so suggestions are always welcome.

I'm sure I'll have a "real" reflection on here soon, but in the meantime, enjoy these beautiful quotes from our big brothers and sisters.

Love consumes us only in the measure of our self-surrender. -- St. Therese of Lisieux

Confession heals, confession justifies, confession grants pardon of sin. All hope consists in confession. In confession there is a chance for mercy. Believe it firmly. Do not doubt, do not hesitate, never despair of the mercy of God. Hope and have confidence in confession. --St. Isidore of Seville

The Holy Rosary is the storehouse of countless blessings. -- Blessed Alan de la Roche

We always find that those who walked closest to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials. -- St. Teresa of Avila

I am not capable of doing big things, but I want to do everything, even the smallest things, for the greater glory of God.- Saint Dominic Savio

GOD LOVES YOU

I tell you this for 2 reasons:

1)       Maybe no one has ever told you this before.  If that’s the case I’m sorry, because everyone should know how much they are loved by God, our Father in heaven.

2)     You may have forgotten and in that case, now you have been reminded.

Each and every one of us is loved by God the Father as though we were the only one He loves.  He loves all of us together, but also, individually.  You are a unique creation of God and He loves you, exactly as you are.

His love is unconditional – that means He loves you no matter what.  If you have done some things in your life that you are not proud of, turn to God.  He WILL forgive you, He WILL have mercy on you and He WILL ALWAYS love you.

If you feel as though something is missing in your life and you have searched and searched and searched and have been unable to find it, turn to God.  He alone can fill that void in your life.  He alone can complete you.

Too many people in this world are wounded in one way or another, they feel unloved and unwanted.  God loves you and He wants you, for eternity.  The easiest way to turn to God, right now, is to get down on your knees and ask God to come into your life.

I don’t know your background but I do know this, if you go to a Catholic Church (they can be found everywhere) and ask to talk to the priest and tell him that you would like to get to know God, he will help you.  Tell the priest where you are right now in your life – whether you are unbaptized or were baptized in the Catholic Church, the Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist or Presbyterian church, a priest will help you.  Same applies if you are Jewish, Hindu, Muslim or atheist. A priest will help you because he has dedicated his life to serving God and he wants you to get to heaven.  

If you need help finding a priest to help you, send me a message and I will gladly assist you in finding a priest in your area.

Until you are ready to take that step (I know it’s scary), spend a minute in prayer a few times a day and ask God to be with you.  Ask Him to show you His love for you.  Ask Him to fill in the gap between the love you have received in your life and the love you have needed.

God has prepared a place for you in Heaven because He loves you.  Ask Him to help you get there so you can spend eternity with the most loving of Fathers.

SMILE – God DOES love you!

Going where?

Who is going to heaven?  The person who attends weekly Mass and says their daily prayers or the person who will not allow Jesus Christ into their lives?  Please don’t think you have the right answer, because you probably don’t!

Many may assume that the person attending weekly Mass and saying their daily prayers will surely get to heaven, but is that true?  Sorry to say, it might not be.  We must be striving each and every day to live just as Jesus lived.  Helping others, feeding the hungry, healing the sick, teaching one another, etc, etc.  Jesus’ mission was love and love equals action.  If you aren’t moved to action, then you don’t love enough!  Serving Jesus is more than going to Mass once a week and saying your daily prayers.

For decades Jesus has been pushed out of our schools, out of our government, out of our daily lives.  It’s no wonder there are generations who don’t know Him and don’t love Him.  How could they when they may never have been introduced to Him! 

How do others come to know Jesus through you?  Do you talk about Him?  Tell others how wonderful He is and how He’s worked in your life?  Do you serve others for love of Him?  Are you being Christ to others so they can come to know Him?

I knew a woman years ago who was always on the go.  She worked 2 jobs and volunteered at the local hospital.  She was, somehow, always available to friends if they needed help with something like moving, a shoulder to cry on or advice.  She helped everyone who crossed her path. 

She had no idea who Jesus was because no one had really talked to her about Him.  When He came knocking at the door of her heart she didn’t answer.  He called to her time and again, but she didn’t know who He was and so she ignored Him.  But others came to know Christ through her and her works.  She didn’t go to church, she didn’t say daily prayers, but she served others and they felt love.

Eventually, this woman came to know Jesus too and develop a personal relationship with Him.  She still serves Him in many beautiful ways, just like she did years ago and now, she even goes to Mass on Sundays and says her daily prayers.

Matthew 21:-28-32 says, “A man had two sons.  He came to the first and said, “Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.”  He said in reply, “I will not,” but afterwards changed his mind and went.  The man came to the other son and gave the same order.  He said in reply, “Yes sir” but did not go.  Which of the two did his father’s will?”  The disciples answered that the first son had done his father’s will and they were right!

Take off your robes....

Senator Ted Kennedy died a couple of years ago.  He was a professed Catholic; but many of his political views were contrary to Church teaching.  He lived a life most of us cannot imagine and much of it seemed to be made public knowledge, although the truth of these things reported were likely tainted in ways we’ll never know.

I bring up Ted Kennedy so I can remind each of us that we all have something in common with him.  We are all sinners and we are all in need of God’s great mercy.  Our sins may differ, but a fact is a fact; sin takes us away from Jesus Christ. 

A lot of people put on their “judgment robes” after Ted died; especially when he was afforded a Catholic funeral Mass.  Many thought he didn’t deserve a funeral Mass.  He didn’t follow Church teaching and was a sinner, why should the Church afford him a Mass?

We don’t know what happened spiritually to Ted Kennedy at the end of his life.  It is said he attended daily Mass to pray for his daughter when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  I am sure our Father in heaven used that time with Ted to His greatest advantage.  I pray he was able to make a good confession and receive the anointing of the sick and maybe even the apostolic pardon before he died.

We are, after all, to desire what God desires and He desires us all to be in heaven with Him for eternity.  We are not supposed to put on our black robes and judge people, that’s God’s place and it’s a good thing, because He is all merciful and all loving – traits we completely lack.

Don’t be jealous because God is generous.  That’s what we read in Matthew 20:1-16.  The landowner goes to town throughout the day and brings in workers to the field and at the end of the day, even those who came at the end and worked only an hour, received the same pay as those who had labored all day. 

Some of us will “labor” all our lives to live the gospel and follow God.  Others will “labor” mere moments at the end of their lives.  The reward is the same for all of us.  In heaven they rejoice when a sinner repents and we should do the same on earth.

Answered Prayer

Garth Brooks did a song years ago about how some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.  I thought about that at Mass this morning during the homily because the deacon was saying that God does not always answer our prayers.  I respectfully disagree with both of them. 

God answers all prayers, He just doesn’t necessarily do it the way we want Him to or when we want Him to.  Our world has moved into an “instant gratification” mind set and that, coupled with our self-centeredness, means we expect everything we want right now.  We need to learn “delayed gratification”, but I’ll talk about that another day.

God does answer each and every prayer, in His way and in His time.  He will either answer “yes,” “no” or “not yet.”  If we truly have a relationship with God, we’ll understand these answers when we get them.  This requires maturity in our spiritual lives, which takes time (delayed gratification).

Just because God doesn’t “grant our wishes” does not mean He has not answered our prayers.  Our Father loves us and He knows what’s best for us; much more than we do.  We may look with our own eyes and see what we need, but He looks with His all knowing eyes and knows what we need.  He is more interested in helping us get to heaven than in getting more prestige, money or whatever we think we want.

The next time you think God has not answered your prayers, spend some quiet time in prayer and ask God what His answer was, you may just find He answered it in a way you didn’t quite expect.  Garth Brooks had it somewhat right, some of God’s greatest gifts are different answers to our prayers than we expected.

“He whose attitude towards Christ is correct does indeed ask ‘in His Name’ and receives what he asks for, if it is something which does not stand in the way of his salvation. He gets it, however, only when he ought to receive it, for certain things are not refused us, but their granting is delayed to a fitting time.” ~Saint Augustine~

Purity of Intention

Paragraph 140 of St. Faustina’s Diary says, “Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or adversity.”   Only in pure love can you have purity of intention.  What is purity of intention though?  It is action which requires no re-action.  In other words, it is something done for another without expecting anything in return.

When I go to work and complete my work, I turn in a time card and expect a paycheck in return.  In giving me a paycheck, my employer expects me to work.  It is an arrangement which benefits both of us.  This logic applies to many normal day to day situations.   What I’m talking about here is different.

A friend of mine called and asked for a ride to church and I did gave her one without expecting anything in return from her, but I did benefit from giving her the ride.

First, I was able to enjoy her company for the short drive to church.  Second, I was able to be a driver for Christ.  As He has no hands or feet but ours, we must be willing to use our hands and feet for Him.  This was a very small act of kindness, done in the name of Jesus.

There are probably millions of examples of actions done with purity of intention and hopefully, they outnumber the actions done without purity of intention.  I’ve often wondered what our world would be like if every single person on earth did an act of charity for someone else, without expecting anything in return.

Remember the movie, “Pay it Forward?”  Kevin Spacey played a teacher who challenged his students to do a project to make a difference in the world.  His student, played by Haley Joel Osment, does a good deed for a homeless guy.  That homeless guy in turn does a good deed for someone else and the projects takes off, with beautiful results.  All these good deeds done for others without anyone expecting or wanting anything in return.

I think of all the missionaries in the world who travel the globe to help people they have never met.  To help others who can never repay them.  Why?  Because it is what their hearts tell them to do.  They are compelled to help others.

Conversely, I think of all the politicians in the world, especially in our own country, who do whatever they can to help themselves, usually at the cost of others.  Some of them believe they are doing us a favor by “serving” in government and therefore they are “entitled” to whatever they think they “need.”

Have you ever met anyone who just exuded love?  Their actions or deeds are done in the spirit of Christ and they love doing for others and are always willing to do more.   These people are an absolute joy to be around.  Giving, giving and giving and rarely taking.

In a society where everyone wants what they want when they want it, it is refreshing to be around people who love purely, not themselves, but those around them.