Examination

In early October my spiritual director advised me to do an examination of conscience every day, preferably in the evening.  I've heard many times over the years I should be doing one, it's just not something I've done on a regular basis.  I didn't do it regularly after he told me to do it either, because I would forget, or think about it and put it off and then forget.  Or I'd be too tired. Or I didn't feel like doing it.  On those days when I did manage to do an examination, I'd forget what I'd come up with by the time I went to confession, so it was losing some of its point.

I decided the best way to go would be to write down my examination.  Then, I would have those things (SINS!) on paper and I could take them into the confessional with me so I wouldn't forget anything. Taking a pad and pencil in the confessional is a good thing to do, especially for me, because then I can write down my penance, and anything else the priest (Jesus) may say to me while I'm in there.  Once I've confessed those sins, there is a certain amount of pleasure in ripping those pages out of the notebook and tearing them into little pieces before throwing them away.  Don't keep them, God has already forgiven those sins and forgotten them....so no need for us to dwell on them.

I have been diligent about doing the examination since I got a notebook, but truly only because my spiritual director told me to do it (obedience).  True, it was helpful in the confessional, but it's kind of "another thing to do in my day."  I don't need anything else to do in my day.

I did notice though, rather quickly, that when you write your sins down in a notebook, and you open that notebook daily to write down more stuff (SINS!), you want to confess them more frequently (really, who wants to take a "book" into the confessional with them?).  I have been in the habit of going to confession at least once a month for quite some time now, but I was moved to go a little more frequently so I could rip those pages out and tear them up (confess my SINS!).

Another benefit to writing down my daily examination of conscience occurred to me last Thursday when I again went to confession.  It had only been a week since my last confession and as I was looking at the things I'd written down, I realized that had I not written them down, I would have forgotten them!  Things that needed to be confessed would have been left UNconfessed because I would not have remembered them otherwise. YIKES!

Doing an examination not only helps us to confess all our sins, it helps us to get to know ourselves.  It's not about just knowing what we've done wrong, but knowing what we've done right and what we could have done better.  Maybe even to start recognizing those things we should have done but didn't.

Before doing an examination of conscience be sure to put yourself in the presence of God.  I like to ask the Holy Spirit to help me, in essence, asking God what He wants me to confess.  What I usually do is just quiet myself and pray:

"O come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Your well beloved spouse."