Examination

In early October my spiritual director advised me to do an examination of conscience every day, preferably in the evening.  I've heard many times over the years I should be doing one, it's just not something I've done on a regular basis.  I didn't do it regularly after he told me to do it either, because I would forget, or think about it and put it off and then forget.  Or I'd be too tired. Or I didn't feel like doing it.  On those days when I did manage to do an examination, I'd forget what I'd come up with by the time I went to confession, so it was losing some of its point.

I decided the best way to go would be to write down my examination.  Then, I would have those things (SINS!) on paper and I could take them into the confessional with me so I wouldn't forget anything. Taking a pad and pencil in the confessional is a good thing to do, especially for me, because then I can write down my penance, and anything else the priest (Jesus) may say to me while I'm in there.  Once I've confessed those sins, there is a certain amount of pleasure in ripping those pages out of the notebook and tearing them into little pieces before throwing them away.  Don't keep them, God has already forgiven those sins and forgotten them....so no need for us to dwell on them.

I have been diligent about doing the examination since I got a notebook, but truly only because my spiritual director told me to do it (obedience).  True, it was helpful in the confessional, but it's kind of "another thing to do in my day."  I don't need anything else to do in my day.

I did notice though, rather quickly, that when you write your sins down in a notebook, and you open that notebook daily to write down more stuff (SINS!), you want to confess them more frequently (really, who wants to take a "book" into the confessional with them?).  I have been in the habit of going to confession at least once a month for quite some time now, but I was moved to go a little more frequently so I could rip those pages out and tear them up (confess my SINS!).

Another benefit to writing down my daily examination of conscience occurred to me last Thursday when I again went to confession.  It had only been a week since my last confession and as I was looking at the things I'd written down, I realized that had I not written them down, I would have forgotten them!  Things that needed to be confessed would have been left UNconfessed because I would not have remembered them otherwise. YIKES!

Doing an examination not only helps us to confess all our sins, it helps us to get to know ourselves.  It's not about just knowing what we've done wrong, but knowing what we've done right and what we could have done better.  Maybe even to start recognizing those things we should have done but didn't.

Before doing an examination of conscience be sure to put yourself in the presence of God.  I like to ask the Holy Spirit to help me, in essence, asking God what He wants me to confess.  What I usually do is just quiet myself and pray:

"O come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Your well beloved spouse."

My Priest Knows Me

I love the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Sometimes at my parish it’s called the Sacrament of Mercy and I think that actually draws me even more to the confessional.  Why would you not want mercy?  That’s just crazy!  I was once visiting a parish out of town and was doing the Stations of the Cross and as I walked past the confessional I noticed a sign on the door that said, “Love Shack”.  Quite frankly I was a little disturbed by that name, but really, what could be truer?  I know we see the priest walk into the confessional, but it’s Jesus who hears our confessions, forgives us, and absolves us of our sins.  The priest is just the instrument through which Jesus works.

I didn’t make my first confession until I was 33 years old and I had a lot to cover.  I was very nervous that first time and it didn’t help I was at a communal penance service.  It always seems as though everyone can hear you, and so I was in no rush to go.  I looked around at all the priests who were available and all I could think about was getting the one young priest “on the panel” because I did not want any of the old guys hearing my confession.

That experience forever changed my life.  That’s the point of confession, to be changed.  To turn from your sin and run to a life in Jesus.  Not to say it’s easy, because it isn’t, but when have good things ever just fallen from the sky?  We have to work at them.  As much as I’ve come to love the sacrament of reconciliation, I know I have a lot more to learn about the mercy we are being offered.

The confessional has become a refuge for me.  The priest is welcoming and his attention is focused on healing the heart and soul.  Although I prefer to make confessions to my parish priest, others prefer the anonymity of confessing to a priest from a different parish.  I personally like the feeling of accountability I get when confessing to someone I see on a regular basis.  I know the priest does not remember individual confessions, but I leave the confessional with the sense of duty not to sin again, especially when I know I’ll be seeing that priest again very soon.

I have to admit, there are times when I want to go somewhere else for confession because I don’t want to confess to my parish priest, but humility is part of confession.  Turning away from our pride and admitting what we’ve done wrong.  Remember, Jesus already knows what you’ve done wrong, better than you do, but He wants you to be humble, just as He is humble.

I go to my parish priest for confession because he is my spiritual father.  It is the “duty” of every priest to make sure you get to heaven and so you can go to any priest and he will hear your confession and help you.  But there is a bond between you and your spiritual father that is not present with another priest.  Spiritual matters should not be taken lightly.  If your goal is to get to heaven, you have to be serious about doing what it takes to get there.

I’m not saying you can’t go to another confessor; because certainly there are times when it’s appropriate.  If you are out of town, on a retreat, you can’t make it during the scheduled confession times.  If you are in need of reconciliation, go wherever you can to find Jesus in that sacrament.

Just as you are the best one to take care of your children when they are in need, so your priest is the best one to take care of “his” children….you and me!

Unpacked and ready for take off....

Have you ever taken your “dream” trip?  There is so much to do to prepare for any trip, making the arrangements, packing, taking time off work, etc.  There is so much to do before leaving that you wonder if you’ll ever get it all done. 

I’m preparing for a trip now.  Heaven.  We are all preparing for this trip actually – I mean hopefully.  Jesus has prepared a room for us in His father’s house.  Everything is all set for us on the receiving end, we just need to do our preparations.  This is no ordinary trip though and so our preparations will not be ordinary either.

For one thing, we don’t need to pack for heaven.  In fact, we need to unpack before we go.  The unpacking is so much harder than the packing we are used to, but the rewards are worth it.

If you are anything like me, you’ve accumulated “stuff” over the years and you probably think that either you need it, or you might one day need it, so you don’t even consider getting rid of it.  It seems harmless to keep these things around, especially if you have the storage space but let me tell you why you should get rid of all of it.  Because if you don’t use it, but insist on keeping it, you have an unnatural attachment to it.  Attachment to temporal items does us no good whatsoever.  Get rid of it!  If you haven’t used it for a year, or two years or five years, it is extremely unlikely you will need it one year from now, two years from now or five years from now.  If by some off chance you find one day you do need it, you’ll likely be surprised at how you cope without it.

We keep things because it makes us feel good, like we’re in control of things.  Well, get rid of it.  If you think you can’t live without something, get rid of it.  Don’t let “stuff” control you (and I do mean stuff, not your children or spouse!).  We cannot be attached to things of this earth.  Earthly attachments need to be unpacked right now.

One really important thing we should be unpacking before we go to heaven is unforgiveness.  You’ll never make it through “customs” with unforgiveness in your luggage, even if it’s one thing.  You will be rerouted to a holding area and if you’ve ever had that happen to you, you know it feels like an eternity before you’re released!

You need to forgive everyone.  The first grade teacher who made you stand in a corner, your mom for believing your sister when she was the one lying, your sister for lying, the repair man who was late and made you miss a meeting, even ourselves for the things we have done wrong.  Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind all those you need to forgive and then lift them up to Jesus and tell Him you forgive them.

Pride is another thing to unpack and don’t think you can sneak by with that one because pride has a stench and they’ll smell it on you before you reach the check in counter.  They’ll take you so deep into the holding area you’ll feel like you’re next to the boiler!  You are not the most important person in the universe, God is, and you better be treating Him that way.  If you are putting yourself first then that means God isn’t.    You’ll need to start working on unpacking that right now because pride likes to stick around and it’s hard to get rid of. 

I have found the best place to unpack is the confessional.  Picture yourself being sprayed with a spiritual “Shout It Out” before you go into the confessional.  As long as you’ve confessed everything, then absolution sends you back out nice and clean and fresh.  There is no limit on how often you can use the confessional to unpack and in fact, the more frequently you go, the cleaner you’ll be and the lighter your luggage gets.  If it happens that you’re departure date is moved up, you’ll be ready to go anytime and you should be ready to go anytime, whether you had a departure date in mind yourself or not.

There are many, many things that need to be unpacked and since we are all so different, what I need to unpack will be different than what you need to unpack.  Ask the Holy Spirit what’s in your luggage so that when you arrive at the pearly gates, your bags are completely unpacked.